blob

I've been absent, so I'm sure you must realize that we didn't receive the news we hoped for last week.
I've been having a difficult time getting anything done. Not even feeling creative, even.
I feel like a big, worthless blob.

I contemplated closing down my blog, feeling ridiculous sharing these feelings...exposing myself.
I don't know why I keep writing.

I realize there are many others out there in my shoes. Aren't there? Or do most people only try to conceive a few years? Is this 8-year stretch entering bonkersville??

I started counseling last week. Doing so in French, so that will be a real hoot. I guess if I can get married in French, I can seek counseling in it, too.

I actually asked my husband to ask one of his sisters to carry our baby. The doctor seems to think I must have an attachment issue, so...you know your desperate when you start thinking of these things. But that's exactly what we are and desperate times do require desperate measures. I don't know if I've talked much about all the allergies to skincare I've developed since we've been doing these treatments. I actually am coming down from a reaction right now. It makes me feel just plain miserable.

I think I see the stop sign just beyond the bend.