I don't know how much more of this I can take...I'm honestly starting to worry about the 'C' word...
Here's a doozy for 'ya...What's worse? Dying young or dying childless?...
I don't have the answer to that.
When I went for my day 1 blood test the nurse told me not to lose hope - that my last IVF yielded a very good 5-day embryo that just didn't stick. She said now my goal was having the courage to continue, because it was only a matter of time. Don't you love how everyone has their little pieces of advice?
For the first time my doctors are having me use Gonal F and Menopur simultaneously. Has anyone ever done that?
I did a little research on the Internet and came across a bunch of contradictory information.. and die-hard IVF fanatics. I like to stay informed, but I think one must relinquish too much control over the whole thing and chill (meaning too much googling of the topic can't be healthy).
And what's with all the abbreviations? Honestly, if you know what BTA or BTN stands for, you need to STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER.
I say that, but at the same time, it's true that you are also your own advocate. Due to various reasons for disappointment, we've changed doctors and clinics many times...and the bottom line we've drawn is that we're all a number, no matter how renowned the place is. In the end, no one will care for you and your situation as much as you do...
And at a reasonable level, I do encourage all new IVF patients to speak with IVF veterans. If I only had known all the things the 8-year journey taught me... For one, I would have been much more vigilant from the start and not taken so many long 'mental' breaks from procedures... and tried the natural methods (i.e. Chinese medicine) for such long time periods, and independent of Western Medicine...
I did read a fascinating article not too long ago on the Internet about depression and IVF. The fact that not becoming pregnant does create depression..and the depression hinders becoming pregnant. The 'ol vicious cycle. Anyway, what I'm getting at in a nutshell is be your own advocate and educate yourself, but also step away and live life, have fun. I think that'll help us all keep depression at bay and bring us more quickly to our goal.
And did I mention the nasal inhaler?
Also new, I'm having to snort 'Suprefact' every 3 hours until the egg retrieval. I'm having to alternate nostrils, because it will evidently make my nose extremely sore and sensitive.
Lovely.
That's a nice Christmas gift. (By the way, IVF at Christmas should it make it pretty apparent we are desperately fighting the clock - no time to waste. That includes major Holidays.)
Anyway, as for a Suprefact quick tip, to help me stay on top of each 3-hour toll and which nostril gets the goodies, I bought a cheap digital watch with an alarm. I alternate wrists to let me know which side is up...
Meanwhile, occupying myself with trying to figure out how to make labels/learn Photoshop. Not easy breezy! And planning on launching my Belgian vintage store mission as soon as this snow storm the country is enduring passes....cooped up like Jack Nicholson in the Shining probably doesn't help matters.
So I must go tend to my eggs. Adzuki beans and seaweed await me...
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